The Convocation/Story 2

Part 2 

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be never so vile. This day shall gentle his condition. And gentlemen in England now abed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

- Henry V, William Shakespeare

"Can we get back to the main point of this damned meeting?! Just a few minutes of your time, then we can all go back to our homes?!" James Bradley roared, an impressive thing that he used in court to get everyone's attention. Here, the effect was mixed- most of the people here were battle-hardened ( especially that infernal Katyusha ), and so they paid barely any attention.

But it was still enough.

"Fucking bastards," James muttered to himself, before slamming a fist on the table, trying to catch everyone's attention- including those damned beings that called themselves Gods.

"No, we can not  until you calm the hell down." Vermi said droppjng a match on the whiskey  covered table igniting it.

"Yeah, you seem under a lot of stress, James-san." Solar!Issei commented worriedly.

"What he needs is to stop drinking and act more human, seriously...oh, Solar!Issei, the kids woke up from James." Goji said as he made his way over to the woken up children.

"Damn it all." Solar!Issei cursed to himself and went to move, until he felt Suu hold him in place, "Suu, I have to go to the kids."

"Let the other one handle them." The Supernatural World said as she snuggled closer to her Visitor, "I still want to cuddle with Visitor-dear."

"Damn it, Suu. This isn't the time."

"I, agree." Ophis said adamantly, "This is not the time."

"I dunno, maybe because it's the fact that no one is doing anything anymore!" the lawyer cried out, before stifling his half-psychotic cries. "Goddamn it... As a lawyer, I like order. This... this is not order. We had a fight, not to mention people blasting their powers at each other every five seconds."

As he said this he gave a dark glare at Demon!Raynare, Demon!Issei, Goji, and Hadrian.

Katyusha folded her hands neatly across her lap.

Suu had been pulled off of her Visitor by Hel as she somehow got her talking about why Suu wanted to stay with Issei, allowing the God to escape and help Goji with the children.

Sona, who had been at Ophis's side for sometime, spoke up again "Momma? Why is everyone being mean?"

"Unfortunately," Ophis began with a bored sigh, "I, do not know, little devil. Perhaps we will find out soon."

"Men," Katyusha sighed. "They can be the worst at times."

"Hey, what did I do?" Solar!Issei asked, a bit surprised and offended from the older woman's comment, with Goji following his lead.

"She meant James, I think..." Goji said as he knelt next to a tearful Koneko.

"As with any army, the Serbian Army is made up of men," the General said, her green eyes glazing over with memory as the Bane of Kosovo began to recount her war stories, "and what do you think a man wants when he is away from home, conscripted into the army for the necessary six months of combat? All you men do is think with your cocks, which is why you have those large harems."

Most of Gojira's creations looked at the soldier in anger, they were only one girl guys.

"...You're making a  lot  of assumptions right now." Solar!Issei commented, "For one thing, in my Universe, it's the  older women  who have a fetish with me, not the other way around. In fact, Cao Cao called me a cougar's prey or something. Or a bait for Mrs. Robinsons."

Upon hearing her Visitor say the last sentence, Suu stopped her one-sided conversation with Hel and turned to look at Issei, who quickly stopped her without even looking at her.

"And no, I'm not calling you Mrs. Robinson, Suu." He firmly stated, earning a pout from the manifested world.

Releasing another sigh, Solar!Issei set his sights to  Katyusha.

"Please don't assume that every man in this restaurant are the same, when you don't even know all of them as individuals. And plus, I'm sure a lot of us don't really know you as a person either, so it wouldn't be fair to really judge you."

There was no disrespectful tone in the Solar God's voice, and he tried to keep his tone as neutral as possible.

"Then again," He began rather quietly, "Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about."

"My own experiences," said Katyusha, giving the Solar God a small smile,  "were not as traumatic as poor Karina's and her "followers." Because men are men, there was plenty of harassment. A crueller training regimen. Deployment to the most dangerous areas in Serbia, fighting the Kosovoans. There was one colonel who especially hated me- assigned me at the last minute to a squad that was going to make an assault on a dug-in Kosovar tank. That particular squad had lost its commanding officer and more than half its men trying to take down the tank- a testament to Belgrade's stupidity and incompetence in dealing with Kosovo."

"God," Claire muttered. "It must have been terrible..."

"It was," Katyusha agreed, before continuing with her war story. "And because I was the sole woman there, they sent me out on the first fireteam."

"We must have made 500 yards before the tank opened fire. The commanding corporal had the RPG; he was shot in the face, brain matter splattering everywhere. The rest found cover, began firing. I was green, fresh-faced from the camp, thinking I could kill every single one of those damned Kosovoans because I was young."

The general sighed.

"I know better now."

"Heh... I remember my first kill. Such a nostalgic feeling." Cohen sighed, appearing out of nowhere. "I was just 7-years old. Ripped that bitch's face after she tried to molest my sister. I even forget why I did it, it was cathartic..."

"Cohen-san?!" Solar!Issei exclaimed in surprise.

"The Devil," Katyusha intoned formally, but too stiff. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lord Lucifer, no matter how many versions of you there may be."

" The only ones who deserve the title of Lord Lucifer is Lord Vali and my predecessor Lord Sirzechs, I'm just the cheap imitation taking lead of what they build. Just kidding." Cohen said with a mischievous grin, shrugging and taking a sip of coffee(even as a devil and an Alastor, too much alcohol wasn't good). "Call me Cohen, and nice to meet you too, darling."

James groaned. "You know how much I fucking hate that bitch?"

"What bitch?" Willis said, waving his phone around. "There's a ton of them around here. Be careful who you're insulting, lol, one of Gojira's creations is going to destroy you for insulting their moral Mary Sue superiority, lol...."

"Yeah. I hate that bitch too." Cohen said out loud.

"So where've you been, Cohen-san?" Solar!Issei asked curiously, "I almost thought you'd died like Freed did."

"Oh Y'know, the usual stuff." Cohen waved a hand at the solar Issei. "Doing some papers, spoiling my wife, making sure that my friend Mary remembers she's the silver medal, and trying to make sure my daughters are clean and proper... Specially Berolina, she's my favorite."

"Oh." Solar!Issei said before he gave the Devil a small smile, "So you've got a pretty good life then."

"I'm honored for you calling it such." Cohen smiled. "Takumi-chan is probably also having his time with Lilith and Kunou. Good kid, he needs it."

Cohen laughed it off with the God, but then his expression soured a little. "Everythinf is great except for my daughter's boyfriend. He's so stuck-up. I tried to take him to a brothel, but he refuse. Can you believe that? And with the owner's daughter nonetheless. He's a... Strange guy."

"Hmm." Solar!Issei hummed as he tapped his chin, "Maybe he's only willing to see your daughter, and only your daughter. If that makes sense."

"Maybe, maybe. But he's also such a stud with the ladies~. He has a wife, a husband, a Human GF, my cute daughter, my best friend's daughter, Lord Phenex's daughter and he even tried to have sex with the Gremory's maid." Cohen said with a pout and touching the tips of his fingers, clearly a little shaken, much for the God's surprise. "As so, Lord Issei, he probably a little too indecisive. Plus, my wife likes the idea of him having a harem. Y'know, my universe's version of you is known as the Harem King!"

"Really?" The Solar God said in interest, "He must have a lot of women around him then. Hope he can handle it."

"He's a good kid, even when he goes all emo and character development has to beat him like Mary used to beat me. He's weak as hell, but he's powerful, if that makes any sense." Cohen replied, despite the fact his metaphor wouldn't make much sense. Then, his eyes Turned somber. "I'm actually feel sorry of how many girls he has as for now. Female Alastors have almost peerless sex-drives, even those who genes are minimal, and one of his wives is a fox, and you know how 'greedy' they can be." He took a sip from his cup of coffee. "Fortunately, he's a dragon, those always do the job done."

"Their drives are that powerful, huh?" Solar!Issei replied, feeling a bit sorry for his other self, before he shrugged, "Well, Dragons are created from large masses of energy, so he should be fine. Hey, let me ask you something. Honestly. Do you think there should be a limit for the number of women in a harem?"

"No, of course not. After the Great War and some events, harems are only limited to one's soul and body. We needed more Devils." Cohen smirked and winked. "However, now in a time of peace, people can settle dowN to four or five. Now, for humans, I think three or four are enough. Takumi-chan agrees with me."

Speaking up for the first time in ages Karna asked a question. "Uh, Mr. Cohen did you have a harem?" He asked curiously from his chair across the room.

"Yep!" Cohen declared proudly, but then his expression soured a little. "But then I impregnated my wife when I was around 13, and since I didn't want Nemesis to inherit my surname, I became a Satan around when I was 18. To be fair, the 'harem' part was because we were very close and they were all girls... Except Alice, we jumped beyond that at 13."

"Wh-what!? 13!? Isn't that a bit too young!?" Karna asked in shock of this discovery.

"That," James said, heartily agreeing with the son of Indra, "is really fucked up."

"It was a different time! Everybody thought we were all going to die, I was a child soldier who could've died at any moments, and trust me, puberty hit Alice like a truck." Cohen declared Defensively. Not that he was ashamed about his family, but he needed context for his actions, otherwise. "At least Nemesis grew up healthy and happy... She would watch classes with Alice and is a genius because Of that. We had Berolina when I was about 20 years, and since then, we're a happy family."

"...Huh. I guess it all works out in the end when you put it that way." Solar!Issei commented, "Although a part of me admires but envies you and my other self for being able to handle all those women. I mean I can only handle two of them, and that's Ophis and Suu. And I'm just getting used to the second one."

Both women flashed him a smile, with the Ouroboros Dragon's smile being sly, and the woman-shaped world's being smug and knowing as she blew him a kiss. Solar God!Issei sighed as he shook his head.

"Maybe in a couple of years, " He mused before looking back at Cohen, " I can adjust."

"Well, that's nice to have a happy family even with such a dark time." Karna said a bit cheerfully. "Do, you ever miss your harem Mr.Cohen or is your wife enough?"

Andrew walked up to Hadrian at this moment and asked "Is the Devil world really that messed up?"

Hadrian nodded with disgust "Yes, yes it is."

Andrew looked sad and thoughtful "No wonder Aunt Sona and Aunt Rias didn't want to be in that world unless they needed to be."

Andrews Pawn, a vampire named Yuuki, said "Your world has really become as dark as they say. Such a shame, it was so glorious during Lucifer's reign."

"My wife is better than any harem, thank you very much." Cohen stuck his tongue out, a little offended by the demI-god's implication. "Has all the assets of one combined. Have you any idea about the weight of an K-cup? I do..."

"There's a K-CUP?!" Solar!Issei exclaimed.

"Sorry, for offending you." Karna said apologetically "And no I don't. But, how much does a K-cup weigh Mr.Cohen?"

"I have to second that motion," James agreed, adding his hefty voice to the train. "Claire may only be a B-cup, but she makes up for it with killer cooking, and a nice ass to boot. She's also the mother of my children..."

" Breasts are nice whatever the sizes, my wife's just happens to be 103cm. B-cups are also nice, I bet they didn't almost kill one of your daughterS." Laughed the demon Lord, remembering a funny tale between Alice, Nemesis and rhe former's breasts. "My wife rather stays at home and take care of the Gremory house, Lucrezia is the one who does the cooking. Also, hips are 92!"

Gojira snarled "That's enough, no more talk about the female anatomy!'

"Goji shutmup. Let the characters talk." Vermj said in a bored but, annoyed tone towards Goji.

"Oh, Gojira." Solar!Issei commented, "Haven't heard from you in a while. Where'd you go?"

"James is right. I am the mother of his children," Claire said, for once not trying to slap or harm her husband. "I assume that Lord Lucifer knows the joys, as well as pain, of raising children as well?"

"Yes. Even when one of your children hates your guts because you're an extra devil." Cohen smiled bitterly. "I mean. Yes, the alastors are pretty humble for such a clan, but I can't blame her. Nemesis was also a pain to raise, specially since, well, I was 14 when she was born. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Well... I was actually excepting a boy, hense the boyish name..." Andrews Demon queen pawn said "Nemesis is the name of a goddess"

"What did you do to become a Lucifer Mr.Cohen? Cause so, far but, no offense you don't seem that powerful." Karna said a bit nervous of offending him.

"Yeah. As one Lord of the Underworld to another, what did you do? You talk as if Issei died- good riddance, by the way." James said, interested.

"Because his Issei is dead" Hadrian said, remembering seeing Cohen's memories.

"Oh, one less person to worry about." Karna said in an eerily cheerful tone.

The three other Issei's looked murderous at that comment.

"He wasn't with father's plan. He has no use in my eyes." Karna said in a serious tine before turning back to Cohen. "Mind telling us your tales of war?"

Everybody says this, but mainly I know how to use my powers." cohen said as a scorpion tail emerged from under his cape and his hand turned into a claw. "I'm actually an exception between the Alastors. What did I do to become a Lucifer... Beat the shit out of my childhood friend, who became the Beelzebub. I became Alice's bodyguard when I was around 6, Lord Millicas seeing my 'potential' or something, the 666(Trihexa) broke loose and since we didn't got Any Gojira's or Lawyers to solve this, I had to go to war with some other fellows when I was around 12. When you know what to do in a war, it kinda becomes a walk in a park. Then Issei-sama Merges with GR and ripped 666 to bits. End of him, end of 666, and the rest is history."

"Hey, what the hell was that?!" James said, looking at Cohen Lucifer with consider able outrage. "My job is to get paid for arguing with other dipshits like me and hoping to God that I win. Christ, you make me sound like one of Gojira's Mary Sues..."

Gojira growled "And so the memory of your hero is dragged through the dirt and forgotten... You disgust me'

Just kidding, just kidding. To be fair, If I had half of your intelligence, I could've become Lucifer sooner." Cohen laughed apologetically, tilting his head to a side and seeing again the Takumi boy adjusting his clothes. He theN returned to the others. "So, not much, but that's my story."

That sounds like it must have been such a sight to see. And I'm a child soilder as well." Karna said with a bit of pride in his voice before shaking his head. "So, did you ever meet your Issei or just see him do that?"

"I saw him from afar. Alice would be spoiled rotten by his children, though."

"Anyway," said the lawyer, raising a finger in question, like he often did in court, "Where I come from, Trihexa is the primordial force of chaos and destruction. It took God and the Archangels a hell of a fight to beat it up. The Great Red and Ophis couldn't shit on the Darkness, and God and the Archangels barely did, and God's dead. So how in the name of Michael did Issei combine with the Red and kill the Darkness?!"

"I dunno?" Cohen shrugged. "The power of oppai?"

"Do what the Greek gods did to their father Kronos?" Andrew suggested.

"Alright, kid, that works," James agreed. It seemed that not all of Gojira's creations were holier-than-thou dumbasses. There was hope for the Absolute Crimson Destroyer yet...

"So, get eaten then vomited out after that being cut into a thousand pieces?" Karna questioned.

"The odd people out," Katyusha muttered, looking dreamily at her sister. "The few humans among the ranks of the damned and the powerful."

"Oh, stop being such a goddamned siscon," James groaned, slapping the shoulder of the Bane of Kosovo, who, despite having all her features arraigned perfectly in a smile that Akeno Himejima would have approved, had nothing but utter contempt for her sister's husband at this point.

"Anyway," the lawyer said, grabbing a fresh bottle of La Mission Haut Brion and popping the top off, before turning tp face the various 'Gods' that floated around ( or in Vermi's case, sat ) in the restaurant at the end of the universe, "why the hell are your creations mostly teenagers? We've got a few notable exceptions here- aside from myself, Katyusha, Willis, and Claire, we've got Suu, Lord Cohen, that dumbass Hel, and an adult Ophis- but that's fucking it. Is there like a fetish with teenagers or something?!"

"I must agree," James Bradley's wife said, who was currently engaged in the process of coordinating her servants' efforts to create a steady supply chain to wash and clean the dishes that were being used by the people sitting at the table. "Once we were all teenagers, true, and in Cohen's case, he had go to war. But it seems strange to entrust so much power... the fate of the Universe, even... to a teenager."

Claire shivered, remembering Issei's perversions.

"Oh, that doesn't need to be answered, Claire-weggy," Willis said lazily, who had by now switched over to play Clash Royale. "It's because however well-written they are, the teens are just basically Issei inserts. However, a good insert like Ichijou is, well, good, while the crappy inserts like Goji Sperry, Hadrian Legion, and that god-awful Demon!Issei..."

Willis shivered too as he contemplated the bad writing that had happened.

Claire rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop that! Goji and Hadrian and that Demonic Issei are good people!"

"They may seem like good people," the tax lawyer said lazily, "but they just can't stop shoving their might down other people's throats, can they?"

"Stop it, stop it right now!" Claire said, her face going red. "This is unacceptable! Stop this at once!"

" well, In my case, my story is more or less a 'coming of age' tale. Y'know, character development and all that stuff, so having teenager characters is kinda justifiable." Cohen coughed a little. "Plus, its not like my story hasn't an adult's point of view. But I'll make sure Ichijou-kun knows he's appreciated."

"I guess that's true," Willis agreed. "If you gotta say, mine's kinda like a modern-day To Kill A Mockingbird. Or at least, that's what my Creator wanted it to be. Incorporates themes of racism, prejudice, bigotry, as well as the mess of court systems that aren't impartial anymore. Pretty left-leaning if you ask me, but it's alright."

"...Sounds rather boring for such a world." Karna said bluntly before drinkingnsome water. "That is just my honest thoughts though."

"Well, in its defense, it's that, with supernatural stuff going around. Not to mention slight alternate history- Kosovo never succeeds in its war of independence, because ol'Katyusha defeated 'em and forced Pristina to surrender."

"It was not me!" the Bane of Kosovo shouted from the kitchens, and her impressive voice, honed from a decades' worth of screaming over artillery fire and explosions, carried out. "It was the entire motherland, contributing to the defeat of those Kosovoans! I was only the tip of the spear!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Willis said. "Coming from a war criminal, that's nice.

"She seems like a nice person for a war criminal." Karna said while pulling out a knife and carving into the table with it.

"Everything in a war is criminal and horrendous, lord Karna. But only the winner side can claim it as justifiable." Cohen muttered with a smile, while also pushing the table to himself so his fellow guest would stop carving the table. "Also, I know about our host's power, but please don't do that."

"Well, not really," Willis said, to answer Karna's question, while also taking in Cohen's suggestion with a grain of salt. As a civilian, Willis Japhon had no stomach for war. "But the Hague wanted her for the Battle of Mertica, that's why."

"Mertica's this place in eastern Kosovo, one of the rebels' strongholds. Katyusha apparently strolled in with two battalions- half the strength of the Serbian 4th Brigade- and tanks and stuff, and besieged Mertica for five days. Yet the Kosovars wouldn't give up, so she ordered "no quarter" and charged the place. Problem was, the Serbian Army ended up killing a bunch of civilians, too, along with practically the entire rebel garrison. They say that was one of the most instrumental battles of the Serbian-Kosovo War. Opened a hole right into the heart of Kosovo..."

"But it came at the cost of civilian lives. Douchebag," Willis said, going back to play Clash Royale on his phone.

"Considering that your girlfriend started the Black Plague," Angel!Raynare gently nudged her fiance, "that would be bigotry, as those overpowered Mary Sues keep saying."

"Well, you repented! Katyusha keeps acting like those Kosovars were beneath her notice."

"Repenting doesn't mean everything. The stench of the crime still hangs around you like a fog that never seems to go away...

Karna looked down and noticed what he was doing. "Cr-crap! Sorry, Mr.Cohen thanks for telling me. Very sorry lawyer person." Karna said apologetically before putting his knife away. "I think father's soldiers have done worse than that." Karna pondered.

"Oh really? What have the soldiers of Hinduism done?" Willis asked in a bored tone.

"A better job at screwing up the world you are trying to protect and well, failing at." Karna responded in the same bored tonw ehil spinning his knife in his hand.

"Oh come on, we negotiated a successful treaty between the Three Factions, humanity, and the rest of the mythologies! We have Alpha Teams scouring the globe against supernatural threats, and human militaries have been magicalized. Like, F-15s with infinite ammunition and able to fly in space! And besides, we're not even from the same universe- I think..."

Andrew spoke up "Uhm...This might be a random question but why are you hating everyone but me and Janet?"

" 'Cuz you don't act like a stuck-up Mary Sue, even if you are one, lol..." the fourth-wall breaking tax lawyer chuckled, poking his girlfriend while doing so. "And Janet seems soft-spoken. I like soft-spoken people, kiddo, even though my fiancee is definitely not soft-spoken. Neither is my younger sister. I guess that's why I don't like loud people."

Andrew looked confused "But, I', not a Mary Sue...I'm even weaker than a normal devil"

"Thankfully we are not since I wouldn't want to live in your universe. Anyways, the three factions decidedmon peace on their own you might just have given them an excuse to do itmso, it doesn't seem OOC" Karna said before spinning in his chair and facing Cohen. "How, is your universe? Is it different from everyone's here?"

" Well, we still have the three factions, but since Fallen angels have been extinct, humans from the church has been keeping command as the third since." Cohen said a little bitter. "Sure, the world is still kind of a mess and the heavenly and hellish system is looser than ever, but nothing changed much. Ophis and GR reformed the human world, and since then They are hibernating somewhere in the Dimensional Gap."

"Your world sounds rather chaotic. At least you have a family which makes it better I suppose." Karna pondered.

IsseL looked amused "Only F15s? Really? Thats it? Well, I guess thats the best your universe has to offer..."

"And to answer your question, other Issei, F-15s are obsolete. You know how the U.S. stopped producing F-22s because they were too darn expensive? Well, they started making 'em again! And dude, you know what happened? They can actually become invisible! They can actually BECOME invisible!"

"I thought the military industry was going to become bankrupt because of this magic shit," James added. "But instead the military industry just blended tech with magic. Smart bastards. They're making the new F-35s now, since the F-22s have been gone too long, despite the fact that they're making now. Dumbass Three Factions; they won't buy our shit..."

"Ajuka Beelzebub tried to use his Kankara Formula on the F-22s, but Lockheed Martin sued him for product infringement," Willis grinned. "Got us as his legal counsel, so we'll be swimming in cash again, just like we did three years ago with Rias Gremory, ay, James?"

"Fuck yeah," his friend replied, and the two lawyers gave each other a boisterous high-five.

IsseL snorted "They have wings, they don't need human hybrid tech, besides I think I would buy some of you new tech, our fighters are a bit too...outdated and it sounds like your fighters could be better in a few ways"

James looked at the IsseL with disgust. "Does it look like we're Lockheed Martin execs? Go talk to them- they might sell them to you, if they survive knowing the fact that you're a disgustingly overpowered Mary Sue from a bullshit Universe."

"Oh, watch out, James," Willis snickered, "the morally righteous Mary Sue is going to kill you now, lol!"

"L ord James and Lord Willis, since your world has been producing old weapons, any chance that you might ask for an IMI / MRI Desert Eagle for me? It's for a friend... And in not THAT way." Cohen said with bright eyes, so much like a child would. "I'm also would like some of the CLWS if that's not much asking. Someone like me has also hobbies..."

"Yeah, I'll do that, but like I said, we're not weapons execs. And who said they're OLD?"

"Old weapons, rare weapons, side by side, there are little to no difference for collectors like me. Like a 10,000 yen bill and an imperial coin from the Edo period."

"That makes sense, lol."

Claire, Katyusha, and the peerage that had once belonged to Diodora Astaroth came out of the kitchen, fresh dessert and drinks on plates that they carried. Katyusha, for some reason, looked visibly sick.

"One minute a Brigadier General," the woman groaned, "and the next minute a call-order cook."

"Oh, come on, Katyusha, it's not that bad!" Claire said to her older sister, as she laid down a steaming loaf of cornbread in front of Willis, who tore half of it off and began munching on it loudly.

"It's not poisoned is it?" Karna asked pointing to the food with a bit of droll in the corner of his mouth.

"No, of course not, unless you're Kosovar," Katyusha said, a snarky streak appearing over the General's eyes.

"Thank you for the cake" Andrew said as he dug in to his chocolate cake.

"You look Kosovar," Katyusha muttered, looking at Andrew with some suspicion. "The features, the demeanor. By any chance, Andrew, do you believe in God and Jesus?"

Andrew stopped eating and said "A little...why?"

"That is the only true path to salvation," Katyusha said solemnly. "On the Day of Judgement Jesus shall come forth and cast out all the heretics, sinners, and demons into the Lake of Fire. And we, we who believed Christ's promise, shall ascend into Heaven. All other Gods shall be cast into the Lake of Fire, and God shall come forth and declare Paradise on Earth, free of those heretics!"

"Katyusha," Claire said, "there is no Lake of Fire. There is no apocalypse, either."

Andrew looked scared now "W-W-hat?!"

"God is dead at least the bible one." Karna said before estting some ice cream. "Anyways, he was weaker than my father it is not like he can cast him into a lake of fire."

Andrew looked slightly more calm "O-o-h...but I'm not that powerful..."

The ten year old went back to his cake.

"How dare you!" Katyusha outright screamed, but Claire restrained her older sister, which was an impressive feat, since Katyusha was twenty pounds heavier than Claire ( Katyusha was 119 to Claire's 99 ) and six inches taller.

"Well, sorry to disappoint, but in our universe, God was extremely powerful, and even the beings called Great Red and Ophis feared him. Only the Darkness did not, and it was sealed by the Archangels and Him. But that is the point I don't get. In our Universe, God was very powerful, and able to obliterate all other mythologies with the blink of an eye. But instead He was slain by his own son Kokabiel. The Sealing must have weakened him irreversibly..."

"You speak heresy!" Katyusha said, but she refrained from striking her sister, since Katyusha was a hardcore siscon and even if Claire disagreed with Katyusha's religious beliefs, the older sister would not strike the younger.

"STOP FIGHTING!" Andrew screamed, holding his head in both hands.

"Your opinion means nothing," Katyusha snarled. "There was a boy like you in Mertica, holding a rifle and thinking he could stop the Serbian Army."

Katyusha spat.

"I blew his head in half as he got up from his hastily constructed cover to try and take a shot at our tank convoy."

"This is quite funny to watch. Also good for you guys I guess with your God bein strong and all that and funny how, his son killed him." Karna said almost laughing

" So... I ever tell you guys that, in my universe, Lord Vali is married to Kuroka-sama?" Cohen declared. "That's true, his grandaughter is part of my daughter's peerage."

"Nya? He did?" An Adult Kuroka asked from her spot next to Andrew.

"Isn't he dead or something?" Willis said, reading the wikia page on DxD; '''Яe-birth. ''' "Last time Willis and i swear on your god I'll erase you." Vermi said harshly before igniting another table.

"Oh, come on!" the Prophet of Mercy complained from his little corner, where he was currently playing with Halo figurines.

"That is something I don't get," Claire said, addressing Cohen while still trying to restrain her sister. Failing, she nodded to her peerage. Diodora Astaroth's Queen ( or Emilia Ev ić, as she had chosen her name ) manifested a magic circle, and Katyusha Marković was restrained by magic.

"If you become part of a peerage, do you become damned by sin?" the wife of James Bradley asked. "I mean, my husband and I are part of the Underworld's nobility, but we are not devils ourselves. I have a peerage, but it is not really a peerage. Does that make me damned by sin?"

Andrew nodded, wanting to know that as well.

"But that's not fair!" Claire said, looking at Andrew. "He actually has a King piece! All I have is a verbal and written contract of loyalty!"

Andrew said "I'm weaker than a devil, I only got half of King pieces strength. Any normal pieces only get half of the pieces power and a mutant piece is a normal piece."

"But still, you actually have pieces... I don't."

"Plus, you aren't a devil so, it is expected" Karna said pointing out the obvious.

"Hey, you, Prophet," said Claire, looking at the ugly old alien San'Shyuum, "I have a question to ask before I go, since my children are probably asking for their mother. I left them in Rias' care, but they always want their own mother."

"Why did you write out that rape thing? Have you ever considered the fact that by giving your creations "realistic" backstories, you are also giving them life. James grew up poor, I grew up amidst the Yugoslav Wars. Not to mention all the other tragedies that others have experienced in the breadth and width of the Multiverse."

"Because," said the Prophet, tossing a Master Chief toy aside, "you wouldn't be who you are, if I wrote you otherwise, Claire. Do you want to be a Mongolian shepherder living in the arid wastes of the Gobi? No? You've gotta appreciate your life, because in your Universe, it's as real as it can get. Would you love James if he was a rich playboy like Riser Phenex, even thought that guy's not that bad of a person?"

"No," Claire said in a very small voice. She had met the Phenex nobleman, and felt somewhat disgusted by the boy's scantily-clad peerage. But he was redeemable.

"See my point?"

"Still, that means you just made our lives terrible just for the sake of your own personal enjoyment."

"We're Gods, and we're petty," the Prophet of Mercy admitted. "But that doesn't mean that your life is worthless, Claire. You've got a couple millennia ahead of you that I'm not going to be around for. Live it well."

And with that, the Prophet disappeared, leaving nothing behind.

He was the first God to leave the Convocation.

Goji looked at his creator and asked "Why? Why did you put me in Riser's peerage?"

The floating God gave his creation a look as he said "Because, your story is larger than that one event. The loss of your parents, Riser, gaining a new family and then helping a certain devilress from becoming the wife of your original king. You gain something through every bad event in your life. Now, I must go...My life isn't all here and now.'

The floating circle vanished, but left a note that read The children will return to there universe after everyone is satisfied with their God's explanation.

"But I want to finish Venus!Nero side-tale, Lucifer."

"You heard the Mary Sue factory, We won't be getting anywhere unless you spill the beans."

and to everyone's surprise(not that much, really), Cohen appeared from the door yet again. However, he wasnt alone. Oh no, he was carrying with himself a messy, rather skinny, dark-haired young woman wearing clothes maybe a little too loose for herself and, worst of all, flat-chestled. That was Houki Minami's avatar. The Lucifer tossed her to a seat, the took another in front of him.

"Now, Houki-dono, explain: why do I exist?" He asked with a sweet tone despite the fact he was oozing some dangerous aura. Houki Minami, as bored as ever, sighed looking around the creations of others, then tô her own. She sighed.

"Because unlike others, my story is an All-OC dxd fic, and as such, characterization is important for that." She simply said with a sigh, adjusting the collar of her social suit. "The story has a protag, sure, but unlike those people, you and everyone else are complete strangers for a new reader, and as such, you need proper character and motivation. plus a quirk so people know how to distinguish you from others."

"okay, not the answer I was looking for, but okay." Cohen shrugged.

"Look, unlike those other... Creators, I have specially care for other Characters and canon itself." She admitted being a DxD fangirl. "I like to bash other characters, but mainly I like to bash my own characters and what the represent. unlike them also, I like dxd canon more than I like my own fanfic. But that doesn't mean i dislike you all."

"Uh-huh. I See." Cohen nodded, but then turned back to his creator. "But anyway, what was I created?"

"Well, if you want to get meta, you're an tool of development and storytelling/conflict itself." Houki Minami declared. Cohen nodded. He got it.

"Hi, Houqueen!" Vermi said happily waving his hand at the new god.

"Hello, King of Vermillion." Waved back the Goddess of Ruin. Man, she needs to work on her reputation a little more...

"Just call me Vermi, Houqueen!" He said in what seemed to be a new and permanently happy tone. "Also to all my characters...you exist just cause. I haven't even made a story yet, heh. Well, I'm working on yours sort of." Vermi sais pointing at Karna.

"It is an honor to meet the Queen of Ruin herself, lol," said Willis. "And speaking of canon, my Creator respects canon.... well, except for the angels. They really shouldn't be that strong."

"Oh, shut up," said Mirrordeath himself, waving his wrinkled, pale hand. "Oh, hey, Houki," the old alien said, adjusting the crown on his head.

"Greetings and salutations, Judge of Mercy. Is nice to finally be out despite the fact half of the people here were victims of my words." Minami sheepishly said with a sigh, Turning to said creator.

"So I'm going to do this again, because my first explanation was retarded as shit," the alien said, and now he turned his ugly old head towards his creations, letting his milky blind eyes wash over Katyusha, Claire, James, Willis, and Angel!Raynare.

"I was never much of an anime fan," the Prophet said. "In fact, I was a video game/American literature person. Stephen King was my literary love, not Ichiei Ishibumi. And I liked to play lots of things, like Battlefield, and of course, Halo, which is why my wiki avatar is the Prophet of Mercy from the Halo franchise."

"My niece just loves anime, and some of that enthusiasm must have rubbed off on me, because the next morning I was up searching up 'best animes to watch 2016' and out of the blue comes this little title called Highschool DxD. I watched a few episodes on Kissanime and received mental scars for life. But it got me hooked."

"I did more research on DxD lore, to see what it was about, and it was pretty cool, except for the fact that angels are as weak as shit. And then, while watching DxD: New I was also reading John Grisham at the same time- John Grisham's a legal thriller author, by the way, I love him- I started to wonder how much of the stuff was legal. Like, how legal is it to brainwash teenage girls and send them to fight demons?"

James nodded in assent.

"Yeah. And I began to think of this absurd little idea- what if the characters of DxD got sued?"

"It grew like a plant given extra fertilizer. Every second not writing fueled the flame, and before long it burned through me. So I pulled up Microsoft Word and began to set my words to the virtual paper."

"At its core, A Most Sensational Trial is actually not about DxD, or you, James, or you, Claire. It's not about that. It's about racism, and prejudice, and what pervades modern society as a whole. It examines the justice system, and examines personal beliefs that might interfere with how justice is carried out. It's also a slight alternate history, but nobody cares about that. It's also about emotional maturation, and how traumatic events can actually make you stronger, too. As Kelly Clarkson says, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But I don't wanna give away too many spoilers because-"

"You haven't written that part yet, O Great Prophet," Willis said, finishing the sentence for the Wikia Author/Prophet/San'Shyuum. "But tell me, why a tax lawyer?"

"Well, John Grisham's The Rainmaker has the main character Rudy Baylor talk about sending this will off to a couple of tax lawyers, and your profession was chosen, righ there and then."

"So yeah," the Prophet said, spreading his arms and raising his head upwards towards the sky. "A weird story of the law, combined with DxD. Also, overpowered angels, and overpowered God. But He's dead."

"Okay, that explains the plot," Willis said, fiddling with his phone. "But why is Raynare engaged to me?"

"Because I, like all other weak-willed DxD fans, feel that Raynare deserves a chance because she's hot."

"Oh, come on," Angel!Raynare groaned, wrapping her arm around her fiance's, "I am not that bad of a person..."

James and Katyusha both gave Angel!Raynare annoyed glazes.

"Okay, okay, I may be a douchebag, but come on!" Angel!Raynare said, crossing her arms underneath her breasts and gave a childish pout.

I just wanted to write a good fanfiction, nothing else." Houki shrugged, which might have been a blow. "DxD:R is not about the world, or character development, or other coplicated things. I just wanted to write a nice story to pass the time, plus help others pass the time; while also kinda improving my writing. Although I think I accidentally incorporated a lot of themes into it. Ya see, I think I might've put some Buddhism ideas into it. Small world... Also, ships. Lots of ships that I like."

"Well, Houki is right," the Prophet said. "Originally I wanted to write something good, but with the law, and then all this prejudice stuff just happened, like cell division."

"it happens sometimes." Houki shrugged yet again, taking a long yawn before continuing. "But at least I made my characters likable, if people and reviews are any indication. Not relatable, but likeable."

"Hey, Houki-san?" Solar God!Issei asked, "What do you mean by ships exactly?"

"Some ideas I threw into the story. Vali and Kuroka's child, Sou-Sou having another Three Kingdom as a Rival, and maybe some HakuxSeki action." Houki said with a smile. "It might be a harem series, but there's always room for ships. Like in Clannad with Tomoyo and Sugihara."

At the mention of Clannad tears ran down Vermi's cheek however, his smile did not fade.

"..." The Solar God blinked a few times before realization overtook his features, "Oh, you mean pairings."

"Yes" Houki Nodded.

"Hey!" the Prophet said, now pissed, "Did you just say that my characters fail as human beings?"

Oh dear. The Prophet of Mercy was reacting like a child. "Assuming A lot of things there." Houki said. "However, doesn't mean an Asshole character can't be likable. Look at mc. He's the first-class asshole."

They don't fail! The girl is the only good one other than the two lawyers who are assholea." Vermi said bluntly as another table caught on fire. "Wasn't me"

"I am not that bad!" Willis said, frowning. "Mary Sues trigger me, that's all. It's a character flaw! I hate Mary Sues! Go read my story, and see how I'm portrayed! I'm probably the happiest guy on the planet."

"So what exactly is the purpose of creating a Mary Sue in the first place?" Solar!Issei asked, his curiosity getting the best of him, "Does the author want to create something perfect? Because if they do, they wouldn't really succeed. Perfection doesn't exist."

"Usually a person wants to put themselves in as a bang master." Vermi said with a sigh.

"Yah, true," Willis added. "But if you look at it from their point of view, it's empowering, really. Refreshing, even. Makes you feel alive, makes you stronger. Makes you feel good about it."

And then he started singing the Chacarron Macaron song. "Bukadandudan bukadandando bukadandudan. Na chaccaron bukabandado bukandangago. Eyakudo badabidakon butabutadon beatdapadadadatina chaccaron budadadukai benna dudaflow. Ebedo bada biko dudaflow."

"What.The.Fuck?!!!" was James reply, disgusted. He was already disgusted by the fact that Willis came out as bisexual three years ago, and had been only starting to accept the fact that his best friend also had a crush on him all those years they were friends. And now he had to go and speak this dumbass nonsense.

"That's an old meme," Willis said proudly.

"It makes them feel empowering?" Solar!Issei asked, "In what context?"

"Like Vermi said, bang master." was all the meme-loving bisexual tax attorney said, popping a flirtatious gaze at Solar!Issei as he finished.

Noticing the tax attorney's gaze, both Ophis and the Supernatural World sent him glares.

"What? I'm bi. I made googly eyes at James for five years," Willis said, looking at Ophis and Suu.

"I'm inclined to agree with you two," James said, groaning. "Isn't it weird when you find out that your legal revenue partner wants to get in your pants? Especially when he's the same fucking gender as you?!"

Suu's glare only deepened as her eyes narrowed.

"Visitor is mine." She said, "It is bad enough that I already have trouble sharing him with that...backwater planet."

"Supernatural World," Ophis began, her tone showing exasperation, "The Earth is not sentient, so it is not taking my mate away with you. Your jealousy of the Earth is illogical."

"Hmph." Suu huffed, "Well just so Visitor knows, I predate the Earth, and Takamagahara is a part of me, so therefore, he belongs to me."

"Him living on the Earth says otherwise." Ophis snarked, earning a stony look from the manifested world.

James grunted. "That's God's backwater planet you're talking about," the lawyer muttered in an uncharacterstic show of Christian faith.

"It depends on what God you are taking about there James, in Goji's universe it took all four Concepts to create and maintain the universe' The voice of Gojira said as he returned from whatever he had been doing.

"I'm well aware." Suu said coolly, "The soul of the God from the Bible still dwells in my realms."

"But anyway," Willis said, cutting over his friend, "your build is very desirable, Issei, oh, fufufufufu.... I'm pretty sure that everyone here would happily die to defend your natural beauty, Solar God," the tax lawyer grinned, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively at the Solar God.

Andrew looked a little sick at Willis's comment and whimpered "Ewww!"

Willis looked at the ten-year old boy for a moment before assuming a face of mock outrage. "Kid, are you seriously disrespecting my rights? I sexually identify as an attack helicopter, so you have no right to insult my orientation, boy!"

It was when Andrew's sister slapped the tax lawyer and snapped "You speak to my brother like that again and I'll make it so you can't have any little versions of you running around, read me?"

"Hey, calm it!" Karna shouted at both of them.

"But then again," the attorney grinned,  not caring about Lily's slap, turning back to a very bemused Solar!Isssei, "you are a very-" he licked his lips, "-very, very, very, fine-looking young man, oh, Issei. It's like something dispersed across the Multiverses... all Isseis are so, so, hot! Well, then again, this Issei is literally a Solar God. But still...fufufufufufufu..."

The man would have continued if it wasn't for the fact that his voice was muted by Gojira, who was getting very uncomfortable with the tax lawyer.

"Thank you, I was almost ready to silence him for good." Suu said darkly.

"Suu..." Solar!Issei said in a warning tone.

"Better that he loose his voice than mentally scar any children here' Gojira said.

"You didn't have to threaten him..." Karna said with a sigh to Andrews's sister.

The Prophet of Mercy snapped his fingers, unmuting his creation.

"Hey, look," Willis said, sauntering arrogantly up to Andrew's sister, eyebrows still wriggling suggestively, "it's not my fault I'm bi. I was born that way, girl, and if it makes you uncomfortable, well, that just shows you haven't been out there in the world. Do me a favor, little girl. Pick up a backpack, and take a walk around the world. Explore the bars, learn some stuff... make a few, ah... friends, if you get what I'm saying. Trust me, it'll be fun!"

Lily gave Willis a glare that would make a certain Greek Hunter Goddess proud, before she said "Does it look like I care?"

"You both seem like a handful." Karna said as a backhanded comment.

"Shall we move on from this topic?" Andrew's female Rook, Jessica Voorhees, asked bluntly.

"Why is there a Jason cosplayer here?" Karna asked circling around her.

"Same," Willis said, frowning. "I really hate those movies."

"Oh, it's no hope," Angel!Raynare called out to her boyfriend. She looked at Lily briefly, and her gaze became kind. "He wasn't lying, you know. There are beautiful sights out there in the world- the canals of Venice, the pyramids of Giza, the beauty of Paris... you get the gist. See the world, and you'll be better all for it."